


self discovery

by moonlight and mayhem (sunshineandsolace)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bad Poetry, Feelings, I'm Bad At Tagging, Introspection, Introspective poetry, Just to warn you, Mentions of past hurt, Poetry, Swearing, but literally twice, description of violence, i'm a mess, i've got no clue what the fuck i'm doing here, it's all a mess tbh, it's just remotely relatable poems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-09-22 21:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17067110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandsolace/pseuds/moonlight%20and%20mayhem
Summary: the road to self-acceptance is a long one.we'll get there in the endpoetry from the introspective teenunedited//unbeta'd(i'll fix it eventually)





	1. millennial troubles

life has become a rambling mess.

only a child yet expected to lead

a meaningful life;

to know what you want.

 

what do you want?

 

the question has lost all meaning now,

asked over

and over

and over

again,

by people that don't understand

that the road to success

isn't exactly a road,

but more of a pitfall that 

you can't escape.


	2. spilled ink

I can't help the words

flowing out of me.

a symphony of longing,

unfinished. 

i keep dreaming,

wishing,

hoping,

these lines will guide me

to the happiness i deserve.

 

 


	3. ode to the past

how can i call myself a feminist

when i allow _him_

to get away with what he did,

as if i didn’t mean anything

and i deserve to feel as if i’m

d

   r

      o

         w

             n

                  i

                     g

in all this misery.


	4. wonderings of troubled mind

what made you think you could do this to me?

why me?

you knew I was broken,

and yet rather than heal

your hands tarnished

my poor, wretched soul

more than any of the others

ever did.


	5. hide and seek

looking for ways to hide from the past

only means you can’t see how to survive the road ahead.

- _you can only run so far_


	6. healing I

silence is no longer an option.

my heart needs to heal itself,

and holding onto the poison you put

in my veins

and

in my soul

just isn’t working anymore.

 

- _it’s time to let go of this hurt_


	7. healing II

i may not be able to hurt you

the way you hurt me,

but oh how i’ve wanted to.

 

to make you feel as hollow,

filthy,

worthless,

unloved

as you made me.

 

but sometimes i wonder

what would be the point?

because it doesn’t change what you did.

it doesn’t erase the wounds i’ve tried so desperately to cover.

 

- _nothing can undo what has been done, no matter how hard you wish it_


	8. escapism

reading will help you heal,

running away into those fantasy worlds

where the prince doesn’t turn out to be

the monster you’ve been hiding from all along.


	9. healing III

i offered no resistance,

does that mean i should have done more to stop you?

i didn’t cry or scream because i thought you would hurt me more.

does that mean it's my fault?

i never told anyone what you did,

does that mean i’m responsible if it happens again?

if you break another girl like you did me?

 

could i have done more?

 

- _then i remember that the only one responsible for your actions is you_


	10. kiss and tell

whenever friends talk about their

exploits

all i can think of is you

and your rough hands,

hurting me in ways

i never knew possible.

 

i never asked for this.

to be this shell of a woman

that can't even think about it

without breaking down

in a fit of regret.

 

yet here we are.

you, the one who wounded me,

and I, the one who was tainted

by your touch.


	11. life of a student

sometimes i feel weighted down by my worries,

a mountain of anxiety i can’t seem to shift.

a crush of melancholic feelings i want nothing more than to

b u r y

as they bury me.

_-the everyday struggles of an introspective teen_


	12. v is for

you have earnt my vengeance.

but i won’t give it to you.

_-i’m moving on from this all this bullshit_


	13. ode to a loved one

sometimes you find

that you’ve been searching for

something

for so damn

long,

you neglect to see when it's been

there

with you,

holding you,

loving you,

this whole damn time.

_­-I’m a smitten fool, but goddamn she makes me happier than anything i’ve ever experienced before_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because you make me feel things i didn't know i could, because of the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, because you care so much about so damn much, because you are the sweetest human being i've ever had the good fortune of meeting, because to me you are the epitome of perfection in every way, because to me you are breathtaking, because i could watch you sleep for hours, because of the way you pout at me, because you're so soft, because you're all i've ever wanted. Because i love you


	14. 1AM epiphanies

your skin makes me realise   
that the clouds have nothing on your softness,  
that the stars have nothing on your beauty,   
that the tides have nothing on your elegance;  
and darling,  
i want nothing more than to caress you and make you 

_f e e l_

  
like you make me


	15. epiphany II

what is life without a little suffering?

the pain makes us

appreciate

the good times when they

come around,

if they do.

 

b r e a t h e

 

it’s all you can do.

accept your fate and

keep

going.


	16. the r word

how long will it be

until the mention of your name,

or anything about you,

stops sending shudders down my spine?

stops making me tense up?

stops making me feel nauseous?

 

every time i think about it.

 

_-i feel like this is letting you win but i can’t help it, the thought of you disgusts me_


	17. labels

this girl has never been a fan of ‘labels’.

she’s spent so long being

forced

to hide herself away in boxes,

masking her truths,

painting them in pretty hues

so others tolerate them.

 

they never anticipated

she’d

b r e a k   f r e e

of the chains they

shackled

her voice with

 

-fuck subservience, this girl’s a rebel

 


	18. just wondering

i hate what you made me.

 

i never did anything to you

except offer you my affection.

but rather than merely throw it back in my face

you decided to

r u i n

me.

 

_-i don’t know what I did to earn your vengeance_


	19. Chapter 19

you ask for my opinions

and yet you try and silence

my raw truths.

_-too bad, I’m my own fucking person :))_


End file.
